I Suck at Girls - Justin Halpern

I Suck at Girls

By Justin Halpern

  • Release Date: 2012-05-15
  • Genre: Humor
Score: 4.5
From 495 Ratings

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From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance.

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend.

"You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f*****g universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.


  • Spectacular Read

    By PaulCassso
    As a guy in my mid 20’s I can relate to Justin’s awkwardness and his thoughts. In a way it seemed as though I had written some of the anecdotes in here. Overall, this was well written and an good read. I need to check out his other book now.
  • Hilarious!

    By Meatball 2
    I loved it, I actually read this book before I read his first. They're both great, the dad made me laugh hard!
  • Very dull.

    By Aurelia5
    This writer obviously got As in English, and this book is well written, but it is incredibly dull. A nice but dull kid, nice but dull family, except for a great dad, a very dull young adulthood, and and even more dull proposal for marriage. The first chapter was funny, the rest was, well, dull. Get my point?
  • It's good

    By Karl Fonza
    You will like this book.
  • Really entertaining and quick read

    By swlcmhc
    This book was a quick but really entertaining read. The characters were very relatable. The father cracks me up.
  • Funny, a great read!

    By Hoffmansrc
    Classic Halpern. Hope he writes one about having kids.
  • I want to punch his face in..

    By Longhorn5555
    I spent half the night reading this book, despite having an early flight to catch. Just couldn't put it down... Would have been cheap at twice the price.
  • Good #2

    By Stranskl
    This was a quick and funny read. It's not as funny as Sh*t My Dad Says, but is entertaining. There are significant similarities to the first book. Would read book one again, but don't feel the need to read his again. Didn't elicit enough laughs for me...
  • Great read

    By Ashley Ritley
    I loved it! It was short but the story was wonderful. Hope there's another in the works already.
  • Enjoyable

    By 1234765dan
    An enjoyable read. There were some nice moments and endearing self reflection but the only real highlights were moments when his dad, the real star of the show, was on stage. Sadly this book pales in comparison to "sh!t my dad says," an incredible book about Justin's father. I'm sorry, Justin but your dad is hilarious and much more interesting.